X-Mas Gifts

You know what my favorite part about Christmas is? Sure we all like to get presents. Hell...I’m an only child...I like to get A LOT of presents. Be that as it may, in many cases you can look under the tree (or whatever you do for Chanukah), size up the box, and get at least a rough idea of what’s in store for you. But every once in a while you receive a gift from someone that’s just completely unexpected…and sometimes it’s not even so much the gift itself as it is the degree of sincerity and thoughtfulness that went into the act of giving it. In the past few weeks I have received an amazing gift from someone...and what’s most amazing about it… is the person who has bestowed it is someone who I absolutely do not deserve to receive anything from...perhaps other than a swift kick in the ass.

I want to tell you a little something about my friend Nicole. She’s going to be mad at me for using her name, but whatever…deal with it. At least that’s what she’d tell me if the situation was reversed. First of all, Nicole and I go back quite a ways. And for many of you who are reading this, you may be beginning to connect the dots, which is fine. Throughout our history we’ve held just about every relationship title there is. We’ve been friends...we’ve been friends w/ benefits…we’ve dated…we’ve been lovers...we’ve been secret lovers. There have been unbelievably great times and catastrophically bad ones...unfortunately probably more of the latter in recent years. Its amazing how when you love someone...and I don’t think I could ever not love her... how badly you can hurt that person...even when hurting them is everything you’re trying to avoid. And I have caused this person enough pain, anguish and self-doubt to last a lifetime. Did I mean to do it…of course not. Was it all my fault… probably not. But did it happen all the same, yes, and I do accept the responsibility for the role that I’ve played in each instance.

But that’s not what this is about. Those things are between me and her and we’re dealing with them, which I am happy to say. The point is that in the past few weeks I have been a complete disaster, and of all the people to help me begin to reassemble the pieces, it has once again been Nicole who has been there as a voice of compassion...a voice of understanding...and a voice of reason. Every once in a while I find myself truly touched by the acts of others. I have to say it doesn’t happen that often, but when it does I am truly overwhelmed by how fortunate I am to have the people in my life that I do.

I guess as much as anything, I want to say thank you. Nicole, thank you for being in my life. Thank you for remaining in it when you had every reason not to. Thank you for continuing to teach me about the person I am capable of being. You have taught me as much or more about myself over the years than any single person, and it never ceases to amaze me the degree to which you understand me on a fundamental level. Thank you for being my friend...which you have always been at the core…but I thank you for your continued honesty, your willingness to listen, and the perspective and color that you continue to provide. I know in many respects I do not deserve to receive these gifts from you. But you’ve given them just the same, and I need you to know how much I value and appreciate them. I will not take them for granted again!

I know there are many of you on this page who read Nicole’s blog. For those of you who have clicked over, thank you very much for doing so. I look forward to reading your comments. For those who have not yet had the pleasure, and partially for the benefit of Nicole’s viewing audience, here are 10 things about her that I think you should all know:

1. First of all, she’s a dork...complete dork…but in the best possible way. I think as people, we all have a tendency to take ourselves too seriously from time to time. Nicole is one of those rare souls who can simultaneously come across completely put together, and then do a complete jack-ass move yet somehow do it so smoothly that it almost seems part of the gameplan. She’s also very funny. And she’ll be the first to point this fact out to you. And when she flashes that smile, whatever room she’s in somehow becomes about 3 shades brighter. If you’ve ever seen her laugh hysterically at herself, you know what precisely what I’m talking about.

2. She’s a sports fan. Guys, hello? She’ll watch basketball all day long and call the best player on your most hated team a ball-less douchebag. You gotta respect that. I tried to get her into football, but it didn’t take. Nevertheless she can hold her own in a smack fest with any drunk asshole in a bar. And when March Madness rolls around...go ahead and buckle up because the Cat’s flag will be waived.

3. She is an encyclopedia of music knowledge. If you ever need a recommendation on anything music related...she’s your gal. She knows it all (and she’d tell you that too)…artists, concerts, albums, gossip, who’s banging who….you name it.

4. She has an amazing ability to pick out celebrities in public places. She once picked out Ronnie Devoe off of a crowded street in West Hollywood. She’s like, hey, that’s Ron Devoe. Such a great pull! By the way, VH1...100 top hits of the 90’s...insane. Although I’m a little pissed off that Jodeci didn’t make the cut. I’d love to get some comments on that topic by the way!

5. She’s a tech geek. Who’d a thunk it? For those of you who bought Apple stock in the past three years, you should probably thank Nicole for that nice little 5 x return on your invested capital. I think she has more iPods than Steve Jobs.

6. She’s a hard-ass…at least she’d like you to think she is. But she also has a heart that knows no limit. She’ll test you with the bravado and see if you can handle it…and if you can’t… yeah…she’ll call you a pussy…which you might be. But for those that get past that very thin layer, there is a depth of compassion that few people ever get to experience in another individual. It is truly a gift, and one that we could all learn something from.

7. She’s incredibly insightful. She has an uncanny ability to read between the lines and see things for what they are...and an equally unique ability to express herself candidly in regards to how she feels about those things (I’m laughing my ass off right now). For those of you who do read her blog, you know exactly what I’m talking about. For those of you who haven’t, I highly recommend you check it out. She’s a fantastic writer and she has a lot of interesting things to say about a variety of topics.

8. She’s an artist. I don’t know how many of you know this, but she has an amazing voice. Its something that is very important to her, but not frequently shared…that is unless you happen to be driving down the 605 and see someone in an X3 completely jamming out to New Edition…chances are it might be Nicole...although you probably wouldn’t be able to hear it. But she is INCREDIBLY talented…in so many ways. And I encourage all of you to encourage her to fulfill her dreams and use that creativity. Because it is a gift!

9. She is strong. Those of us who have had the privilege of being close to her, know this to be true. Unfortunately there are many...such as myself...who have taken liberties with that strength, and at times siphoned it to the point where the reservoir gets too low for self-consumption. Nevertheless she continues to be the pillar of support in the lives of those who are important to her, while simultaneously having the courage to take action towards fulfilling her own ambitions. That is the true nature of strength and something we should all strive for.

10. She is beautiful. Stunningly beautiful actually. If I could have one wish for Christmas it would be for her to finally and truly realize the extent to which that is true. There are some people who can give you a look that just makes your soul melt. Nicole is one of those people. Her eyes have a way of penetrating you to the deepest levels, and there are times where she radiates an almost angelic quality that can leave you nothing short of breathless.

I could go on and on but I won’t. The point I want to make is the most amazing gift you can ever receive from another person is the gift of that person themselves. It’s taken me a long time to realize that fact. And while I continue to be a work in progress, I think we all have someone…and perhaps multiple people… in our lives who reward us every day just by their presence. This holiday season...take the opportunity to tell those people how much you appreciate them. It’s cheaper than a fruit basket and more meaningful than anything else you could ever do. Happy Holidays!

BD

Star Wars

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Introductions

Welcome to my blog. First let me explain a couple things. At this point I'm not entirely sure what the overarching theme of this space is going to be. I guess more than anything, I want it to be an open forum to talk about...well...just about anything. For the inquisitive in the audience, the name "Just The Tip" stems from a few places.

1) First of all its a great quote from a great movie..you all know it. I'd go so far as to put it the top ten in the quotable s category. Probably have to include the full monologue, but that would make for a long title.

2) More importantly its an interesting metaphor..put it in a little bit and see where it leads us.

That's kind of what I want to do here. I've got a lot of thoughts and opinions about a lot of different things. Not really sure to what extent or how I want to express those those thoughts just yet, but I thought this would be an interesting forum to play around with.

A little bit about myself..I'm a 31 year old white heterosexual male (exciting, I know). I just recently got my MBA and moved to a new city to start a new job. I'm recently single. I have a fantastic ability to fuck up what most people would consider very good relationships...in fact I could write a very compelling book on how to leave a blazing trail of destruction in your wake. I come from a great family, I have great friends, and I'm independently wealthy. On paper everything should be fucking roses, however there is something very significant missing in my life and I can't put my finger on what exactly that is. Mid-life crisis? I don't think so. Search for something in which to be inspired about..could be. Whatever it is, my guess is there's a lot of you out there in the exact same boat for a multitude of reasons, and I'm interested in hearing from all of you. Maybe together we can find some answer to...well...something.

So, bring on your posts. Feel free to talk about anything. I'm a good listener and I actually give pretty good advice, just as long as I don't have to follow it myself. My goal is to post at least once per day, but that could turn into more or less depending on the level of involvement. So, let me know what you're thinking about out there and we'll start some interesting dialogue..

BD