Blah Blah Blah

I’m in a particularly weird mood today. Everything just feels off and I can’t seem to find the motivation to do much of anything. I have come to the realization that my life in Minneapolis is too one-dimensional. There’s basically work….and then there’s work. That’s not to say that I don’t have other things to do, but pretty much all of them are tied to work in some way shape or form. All my friends here are people I work with. Great people, but still coworkers who I have to see every day. Even the 24 year old...work. And it’s starting to bother me. I feel boring. It’s not so much that I’m bored, although I think that I am a little bit, but as much as anything… I just feel boring. I don’t feel like I really have anything interesting to do or talk about…and part of that could stem from the fact that I see the same people constantly. I know I need to break out of this somehow, but quite frankly, I don’t know how to do it. I realize that’s it’s basically a function of getting out there and meeting new people, but it’s not that easy to do here. And I’m not really the type of person that’s going to go join a club or some shit like that. I don’t know…I’m whining….and I apologize

In other news...forget the apology…I’m just gonna go ahead and bitch some more. So I mentioned how I re-pulled my hamstring during curling last week. I won’t even get started on that, but I woke up on Sunday morning and the entire back of my left leg (ass to just below the knee) was black and blue. Kind of alarming, not to mention uncomfortable as hell. Suffice to say, sitting in my cube all day wasn’t feeling all that fun so I went to see the doctor yesterday. Doctor looks at a bunch of stuff…does some strength tests on the muscle, and then proceeds to tell me that she thinks I have fucking blood clot in my leg. Great...more good news! This was based on two particular areas that she noted were significantly enflamed…not from the typical swelling of the muscle…but rather two lump like bulges in the back of my leg. Apparently there are two genres for this sort of thing. 1) Surface level or superficial clot which isn’t a big deal. 2) Deep tissue clot which can be life threatening. The long and short of it is I’m supposed to go back for a follow-up on Thursday, and if it hasn’t improved, I have to go for an MRI that afternoon. I don’t want to be overly dramatic here, but I guess its fair to say that this is weighing on me a little bit. And that makes it entirely possible that my current perspective on “life” is being clouded by me viewing it through the lens of potential medical procedures, which god knows I love (particularly at a $285 deductible and 90% coverage…how do you say WHAT THE FUCK in English?)

Ironically, I seriously hope that’s all that’s bothering me. I’m getting really sick of this roller coaster thing...where its like up and then down, up and then down. I feel like that’s how my weeks have been for the past two months. I have a good week, and then a bad week. Good week...and then a bad week. There’s a term for that…it’s called fucking ridiculous. I’m getting frustrated...obviously! I’m going to stop there because I’m getting annoyed even just reading this post..

BD